Do you tend to forgive and forget or hold grudges? What is the longest you’ve ever stayed angry with someone? Is there anything the other person could say or do to win back your friendship and trust?

Three different questions, three different answers.

Do you tend to forgive and forget or hold grudges?

With a few rare exceptions, I tend to forgive and forget. Call me Pollyanna if you must, but as a general rule I believe people are fundamentally good unless proven otherwise. This being said, it can sometimes take me quite a while to get past the hurt feelings.

Often with me, least said is soonest mended. My temper can flare pretty hot sometimes, but it burns out quickly.

What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed angry with someone?

There is one situation where there isn’t a building big enough to hold both of us at the same time. And as far as I’m concerned, there never will be. I suppose that could be called staying angry with someone and if that’s so, then it’s been thirteen years.

But honestly, I don’t think about it that much anymore. He’s beneath my notice.

No, it isn’t my ex-husband. But I don’t think about that much anymore either.

Other than that, I don’t think it’s ever been longer than perhaps a year. As I mention, least said is soonest mended, and I often let the other party decide if they still want to associate with me. If they don’t, I don’t press the issue.

Is there anything the other person could say or do to win back your friendship and trust?

With respect to the thirteen-year situation, we were never really friends in the first place. We got along, but these days? I meant it with respect to there never being a building large enough to hold the two of us. There is nothing he could say or do.

When you consider my comments about anger and forgiveness above, you can see that it took a lot to push me that far. Winning back my friendship? You’ll rarely ever lose it though it might become more distant. Winning back my trust? Well, that takes a while sometimes.