Toward the end of the time I lived in Raleigh, I would occasionally drive over to a nearby mall during my lunch hour and visit an aqua massage kiosk. Since I was on a schedule, I always opted for the shorter ten-minute session. It was still enough to do me a world of good.

I didn’t always come out of there feeling totally relaxed and refreshed. But I did come out of there feeling better. I couldn’t explain why, but I knew the massages helped.

A handful of recent experience has suggested an explanation: the massage simulated touch. I’m rarely touched except by my cats and my family. I sometimes get so touch-starved that it causes physical pain, but I didn’t make the connection until recently.

Studies have shown that American culture is very “hands-off” and, indeed, sexual harassment training often advises people to avoid touching others. It’s necessary for survival in our current social environment.

I’ve often wondered if this fear of touch comes from the hyper-sexualization of our society. People are taught that touch is closely associated with sex; it follows that touch is, by definition, sexual. So any touch at all, particularly if it’s between a man and a woman, is assumed to be more than it may really be.

Given the positive aspects of touch, that’s a shame. Despite the findings that lead to sexual harassment training, touch is also necessary for survival. We could all probably use more in our lives, especially the non-sexual kind.

Since that’s not possible, though, I’m just going to keep looking for a place to get aqua massages again. I’ve yet to find one in Atlanta.