Writer’s Block from June 2, 2010:

How do you recover from a bad break-up? The proverbial pint of ice cream? Quality time alone? Going out with friends? What are your personal healing strategies?

These days, I’m not in a relationship by my own choice. I’m open to dating, but I don’t even do much of that. So I haven’t had to deal with a break-up at all lately, never mind a bad one.

That’s probably a good thing, given that I don’t deal with break-ups well — even if I’m the one who initiates them.

The last two major break-ups that I initiated were followed by the purchase of a brand-new car. There was nothing conscious about either purchase decision (in fact, one was something I’d been considering before the break-up) but the timing and the fact that it happened twice leave things highly suspect. Buying new cars is a rather expensive method of coping…the kind of expensive that can leave you with problems that take years to fix.

As for the last break-up that I didn’t initiate? Oh, let’s not go there. Anyone who knew me then knows how poorly I handled it. I will say, in my own defense, that I tried to find good coping mechanisms. In the end, I actually had some success as it led to me finding some new hobbies, friends and activities to enjoy; and I certainly learned a lot about myself.

But it was so bad, and so hard on both me and other people, that I wouldn’t even wish it on someone I thought deserved a healthy dose of heartache.

Admitting that I don’t handle such things well involved swallowing a lot of pride, but I decided that it’s better to just face the fact and be careful about getting into a relationship at all, as opposed to going through everything that happens when I’m involved in a break-up. The way I see it, if it’s meant to happen again, it will. There’s no need for me to push things along either way. The risks are just too high.